I'm Back for Another Fight

Oh hey! It’s me again. I’ve been away, doing the ‘ignoring my self-care, and struggling with balancing family, work and school’ life. Always a good time. Guess what happened on my break? I gained weight, I grew severely depressed, and my anxiety skyrocketed through the roof. I was dealing with my stress by eating. I’m talking outrageous eating like eating an entire bag of donuts by myself, afterward eating a king size pack of Reese’s cups and washing it down with soda… or buying a medium sized pizza and eating it by myself, and washing it down again with more soda.

I was a hot mess.

I messed with my hormones so much that I just didn’t care about anything except eating, sleeping, working, and taking care of my daughter. I hated life. I hated everything, and I know my family and my marriage was also suffering from my issues. I’m sorry babe, I love you!

I was also having issues with the medication I was taking for the depression/anxiety that triggered my snap back to reality. I actually had suicidal ideations. That shit is SCARY. I have never dreamed of wanting to kill myself. NEVER. No matter how depressed I was, suicide never entered my mind. I started taking anxiety medication because of the stress I was under and boom, there’s random images popping up of me wanting to shoot myself in the head. It wouldn’t go away. That meant it was time to get my shit back together, and needless to say, I weaned myself off those meds faster than Mr. Krabs seeing someone touch his money.

I weighed 247 pounds at my highest in October of 2017.

I can tell you exactly where my issue stemmed from: Living with my parents, my job, and overloading myself at school. I’ve since fixed the situations I was in. We’ve moved into our own home, I moved to a different area at work, and I am now taking my time with my schooling. The stress I felt went from a scale of 100 to about a 10 in no time flat. It’s almost blissful.

During that transition, I shaved my head and again started eating the best way of eating everrrrrr! KETO! <3 I also feel like the head shaving made me a new, confident woman. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I donated my hair to a charity called Children with Hair Loss. I’m going to grow my hair out again and do it again! 

Anyway, today is February 7, 2018. I will officially be at 30 pounds lost here soon. I’m weighing in at 218.8 as of this morning. I’m not rushing things because I’ve come to realize that obsessing over macros or exercise really burns me out. I have no time for that. None. No patience, no time. No sense sugar coating it. I’m doing lazy keto. It’s going to be a bit of a struggle with PCOS to get to my goal weight, but the struggle is only half the battle, right? I love a good challenge.

Winners don’t fall down and stay down. We get up, brush ourselves off, and continue our journeys, pushing forward.

Love and Peace upon you, my friends.

Salek

Low Carb Soul Bread

I just made this bread called Low Carb Soul Bread. It is awesome! Although it doesn't have the complete consistency of carby bread, it's enough to satisfy the desire for a sandwich or for a slice of peanut  butter bread. I'm going to try and make French Toast with the bread this week since I really, really, really miss French Toast.

Check it out yo! Looks as good as it tastes!

Anyway! I have been doing fairly well with eating right. I had two birthdays that I attended yesterday that really had nothing keto to serve. I had wings and hot dogs between the two parties and I ballooned up like ten pounds. I blame the hot dogs. Holy water weight, Batman! No biggie - got to just keep on trucking through those ups and downs! First thing this morning, I made my Bulletproof Coffee and some bacon and scrambled eggs, and I have been drinking so much water that I feel like I'm going to turn into a fish! Totally dreading looking at the scale tomorrow, but it is what it is. I'll be back to my current weight in no time, and hopefully lower! I plan on taking body measurements and updating that weekly on the side bar.

I'm also considering trying an egg fast when I hit my first plateau. (The dreaded weight stall that I'm sure we all get!) I've read great results from folks over on the /r/xxketo Facebook group so I definitely think I'll attempt it. I'll use I Breathe, I'm Hungry's egg fast meal plan.

Have you tried the egg fast? Tell me about your results, how long you did the fast, and how you felt in the end of your fast. 

Where have you been, Salek!?

Busy. That's where I've been .Very busy. I had first created this blog to document my journey to becoming a mother using the ketogenic diet and exercise.

Guess what? I'm a mommy now.

Eleanor is going on 11 months old - she'll be a year old next month. Keto works. It works SO well. After years of infertility,  I finally have my beautiful rainbow baby. I didn't need medication to create her. My medication was food and the result was her:

I am truly blessed. She is such a sweet, little girl. :)

Eventually, my husband and I would like to give her a sibling, but right now - I think it's time to focus on taking care of myself again and raising Eleanor. I have a few big goals in mind for myself. I'd like to make this blog a full time job down the road so I do need to keep myself accountable when it comes to writing. I like to write - I don't do it often enough with a job that consumes my social and personal time, and with small child. It can be a challenge!

Another personal goal is getting down to 145 pounds. I've gained an indecent amount of weight since Ellie's birth. I've find cracked down on myself with my improper eating and I've already lost 16.6 pounds since February 9, 2016. I have another 70 pounds to lose. Challenge accepted. I want to set an example for my child and show her that food isn't for comfort - it is to nourish and give us energy. We eat to live, not live to eat. I don't want her to have the same issues I have when it comes to food and health.

Get back to 5x5 Stronglifts. I think I will begin my strength training again once we move to our new house in April. I'm in the process of decluttering, packing and moving so I'm putting my training on the backburner for now. I still want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight anyway before I hit the weights. My joints will thank me I think.

A long term goal is to join the Air Force. It's been a dream for years and years for me to join the military - being from a military family makes me feel like it's my duty to serve my country. I already went through the police academy so I have some basic training for defense tactics, weapons training, use of force, etc. I want to be Security Forces (aka Military Police).

I don't know where this journey is taking me and my little family, but I hope you come along for the ride. :) Follow me on Instagram! 

California Shrimp Salad with Goddess Dressing

I am obsessed (that's putting it lightly) with the shrimp salad at a certain popular chain restaurant. It was almost like the heavens opened up and Angels sang hymns the moment I tasted that deliciously high carb salad. So obsessed that I made a ketogenic version of the goddess dressing to satisfy my crazy. I hope you enjoy too!

California Shrimp Salad

• Fresh spinach (THE MORE THE BETTER - SPINACH IS GOOD FOR YOU, SON! I'm looking at you, Husband!)
• 5-8 black olives
• 2 ounces of tomatoes
• One half of a small Haas avocado - sliced.
• 1 bag of peeled, deveined shrimp - medium sized - may have to take tails off.
• Seasoned salt because I'm a lazy cook. 
• Careful though - Read the label! Might contain sugar, which my season salt does. I'm using up my last container of Lawry's and going homemade. That recipe will be linked down the road.

Thaw shrimp under cold running water for 5-7 minutes. I took the time to remove the tails while the shrimp was thawing. Once thawed, I sprinkled probably about 1-2 teaspoons of season salt on the shrimp and cooked it on low in 3 tbsps. of bacon grease - cook until no longer see through. I usually cook shrimp until it has a nice crisp on the outside.

While the shrimp is cooking, assemble your salad and get the dressing mixed!

Goddess Dressing

• 4 ounces of cream cheese
• 1 tablespoon of lemon juice - preferably from a fresh lemon
• 3 tablespoons heavy whipping cream
• 2 tablespoons Almond milk, unsweetened
• 1 whole Haas avocado - remove skin and seed.
• 2 cloves of garlic (I like garlic)
• salt and pepper to taste

There's several ways you can do this - you can use a potato masher and mix by hand (it'll probably be a bit chunky - still delicious though), use a hand blender, or the magical Kitchen Aid thingamabobber. Whatever floats your boat. There's no special way to add the ingredients so just toss them together and mix!

Dressing: 4 servings (2.65 ounces, or approx: 1/3 cup)

Cal: 214 kcal, Total fat: 20.7g, Total Carbs: 6.4g, Fiber: 3.0g, Sugar: 1.5g Net Carbs: 3.4g 

Money, Food, and the Dreaded Grocery Shopping

I hate grocery shopping (especially with my husband). I hate dragging myself to the store where people tend to not pay attention to anything outside their bubble of stupid; taking up the entire aisle, walking very sloooooowwwwlllyyy in front of you, ignoring your presence even when you say "excuse me". One day, there may be a Royal Rumble going down in the dairy aisle if people don't get the hell out of my way! Don't get me started on the parking lot. UGH.

But, I digress, I am not here to bitch about the grocery store - I am here to share some money saving ideas when it comes to eating a ketogenic diet. Taking on an entire new diet can be very daunting when it comes to paying for it the first time, but once you figure out a system, and what you enjoy eating, going to the grocery store will be a walk in the park. Your health will thank you for it as well.

Look at the beautiful money tree! If only such thing existed!

1. Grow a Garden

A lot of people assume that the ketogenic diet is all meat. It definitely is not. Fibrous green vegetables are very important to maintain a well balanced diet. Depending on your location, and what you like to eat, grow what you can at home so you will always have fresh, nearly free vegetables on hand. It can be hard work, but the delicious noms right from the garden makes the work worth it.

I would grow a garden if I could, but unfortunately, I live in a sardine can of an apartment with no yard. I have one window that light comes through and it is low enough for my cats to completely destroy any effort I put into growing anything. Rest in peace, agave plant. If I were to grow anything in a pot on the sidewalk, I'm very sure some douche canoe neighbor will let their children rip it up or throw their cigarette butts into the pot because who has ever heard of being respectful toward other people's things, right? Yeah, yeah - sidewalks = public property. Still doesn't give them a right to be a complete asshat. (Whoa, slow down there tangent! Get back on track!)

I actually asked my Grandparents to grow spaghetti squash for me in their garden this year, and they said yes. (Yay!) I go through a lot of it especially since I use to be a pasta fiend, it is quite nice to have that substitute. Even at Wal Mart, Spaghetti Squash is expensive - priced between 98 cents - $2.99/lb. When I'm paying $8.00 to eat a damn vegetable, I know that I either need to cut back or grow it. Luckily, it can be grown. :) Can't wait for the near endless supply.

2. Buy in Bulk

If you have the ability to buy in bulk, it will make your life easier. 99% of the time, we have to cook to ensure we're eating properly so you will definitely go through the bulk goods. Since I just moved back into my hometown area - I no longer have every day access to Costco. I do have a Sam's club in my area, but I don't know yet of what they offer in regards to good ketogenic products. Some examples of stuff to buy in bulk include:

• Meat - I tend to buy it at Wal Mart, but the quality doesn't compare to Costco's meat department. After John and I get a chest freezer, we're splitting a cow with my brother and his wife. $250.00 for a half a cow. Jackpot.
• Coconut oil
• Olive oil
• Eggs
• Heavy Cream - can be frozen in ice cube trays and stored in freezer bags. Good for popping into coffee, soups, stews and sauces.
• Flour - almond and coconut flour.
• Nuts - almonds, macadamia nuts, pistachio, etc. (Watch out for carb content!)
• Chia seeds
• Flax seeds and/or meal
• Butter
• Cream cheese
• Whey Protein

3. Figuring out a meal plan = Staying on Budget

Impulse buying is a pretty big pain in the back pocket especially when you go to the store and have no idea what to buy for the week or if you are hungry. (Snack on some almonds before heading in or something...)  Having a weekly meal plan and budget to stay under will allow you to walk out of the store feeling like a boss. I know I do when I have money left over in the bank after grocery shopping. Also, unless you need condiments, stick to the outer perimeter of the store. You'll be less likely to buy junk food.

There you have it - short and sweet tips. I'd love to hear your tips on saving money on food. I'll have to post an example of my meal planning later on to give an example of what John and I eat every week, and how much I spend monthly. Definitely something I look forward to. It's almost like pantry porn. I love pantry porn. :3

Stay Frosty, my friends.

Salek

Bulletproof Coffee - Breakfast of Champions

I start my day off with bulletproof coffee.

What is it? Amazing. That is what it is. If I'm not fasting, I usually survive off of just BPC and bacon in the mornings - keeps me full and energized until I'm ready to eat which usually isn't until 7 or 8 o'clock at night. (I'm pretty sure that is a form of fasting, dumb dumb.) Bulletproof Coffee is coffee mixed with butter and coconut oil, and it is absolutely delicious. It's actually a really simple process if you have a hand blender. You can whisk the ingredients together, but the end result doesn't stand up to the blended coffee. I know from experience. As much as I love butter, I don't like tasting butter by itself floating on top of my coffee, along with the coconut oil. Yuck.

Take 8 ounces of fresh brewed coffee, add 1 tablespoon of salted butter and 1 tablespoon of coconut oil or Medium Chain Triglyceride oil (webMD explaination of what MCT oil is, since I'm lazy). Blend it with your hand blender until the coffee is frothy and dump it in a coffee mug. I always add 2 tablespoons of heavy cream into the mix to add more calories and fat.

Recipe for Bulletproof Coffee

• 1 Cup of freshly brewed coffee
• 1 tablespoon of salted butter
• 1 tablespoon of coconut oil or MCT oil

Instructions:  Mix that shit. Drink that shit.

I know there is a big hurrah for using the finest ingredients when it comes to the food you consume, but I'm a broke bitch and I do what I have to do to ensure that I am eating close enough to a healthy diet while consuming the cheaper end of the spectrum. For instance, a lot of folks use Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter which is $4.99 for 8 ounces. I can find 1 lb of salted butter for half that price at Giant Eagle. Almond flour is just ridiculously priced, especially since low carb is becoming the next big thing; I use my coffee grinder and grind up 1 pound bag of sliced almonds I buy from Wal Mart for $8.00. May be chunkier than almond flour, but it works for baking just the same! I don't use it often so a little goes a long way.

For coconut oil, I use LouAna Coconut oil (Found at Wal Mart), but I may shell out the money to find something better. Preferably the Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil for $27.00 when I'm back in Pittsburgh next month. LouAna is supposedly bleached, and I'm not down with that even if I'm a broke bitch. I'm also considering MCT oil to try out instead of using all of my coconut oil for just my BPC since coconut oil is expensive.

I might have to go into more detail later on how I try to keep as cheap as possible when it comes to groceries in another blog post. I know folks are always interested in saving money, right!?!?

Stay Frosty, My friends.

Salek

My Body Wants to Be Sith. Hell No, I say!

Ranty post, but I got to rant some where I guess. Why not my blog? Plus, writing this down holds me accountable - especially since my friends and family read this blog. I hope it will encourage them to not let me fall back into the mud.

I am accountable for my own action and inaction. It isn't anyone else's job to make me lose weight. It is all me. I've been doing the ketogenic diet for nearly two years now, and yet here I am back to nearly square one at 202.4 pounds. What had gone wrong? I can tell you that it is a number of things - Burning out from cooking all the time, moving, never having enough money (that has changed now that I have a real job), and just sheer laziness. I compare my douche canoe body to the dark side of the Force - it is trying to fight me always - trying to consume me.

Can I tell you I ate straight keto these past two years? Absolutely not, but 90 percent of the time, I have been in a state of ketosis with nothing to show for it, but bad breath, a better personality and less "I'm a crazy bitch thanks to sugar" moments. (At least having a better personality is a good thing, right? :P )

There is no time for excuses - If you want something, you strive for it; make it your goal to be a better person at the end of each day. It is a struggle. It is especially a severe struggle for me. Some folks can cut calories and lose all the weight without a problem - I can't. I have to be on top of my game with my calories, carbs, sugar, water consumption and how much I workout or I simply stagnate. It is the most frustrating thing ever. I see my friend already losing 50 pounds by eating keto, and she had just started doing the damn diet! I have been in a stall since my first pregnancy in 2013.

It makes me want to rip my hair out.

Instead, I'll cry for a minute, and go workout and continue to count my calories and carbs. The struggle is real, and I cannot let it eat me alive. That's a path I no longer want to take. I'm going to be the Jedi Master of my own body, I will bring it over from the dark side. I'm done letting it run the circus. It's my turn.

On that note - here's a HIIT workout for you to do today. I am doing it myself once I post this blog entry.

By the way, Fitness Blender is amazing. A lot of body weight workouts on their website. I'm so glad I discovered them because they make you work up a sweat at home! My gym membership is currently inactive at the moment, but I definitely plan on going back to weightlifting using the Strong Lifts 5x5 in two weeks. :D

<3 Squats <3

Stay Frosty, My Friends.

Salek